I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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