Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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