there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
