Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
