you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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