i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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