Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
