Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
