i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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