Dual....:-)
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
