Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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