i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
