Sponge bath it is.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
