So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
