If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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