She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
