Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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