What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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