Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
