i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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