She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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