I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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