and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
