Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
