Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
