i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
