After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just had sex on a roof
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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