I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
