Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
