if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
