so explain again why im purple
no
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
two words...techno handjob
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
