i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
