hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
