i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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