The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
