she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
