Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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