Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
