Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
