If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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