Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
