Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
