Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize