I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
