I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
