I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
