we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
