I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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