We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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