I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
