I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
