I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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