but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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