her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
