Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
